Fucking A levels. I feel like my brain is disintegrating. The possession I treasure more than anything - my mind. Why do we sacrifice everything for that elusive dream of perfection? Fuck strangers until you're numb, drugs to escape and starve until you feel real again. I can live like that. But without my brain, my thoughts, the connections, the visions, the words, I can't exist. So for today, tomorrow and until the end of my exams I will nourish my brain. And then I will pursue that toxic dream until it destroys or perfects me.