You can survive anything. It doesn't matter how shattered, weary and numb you feel. You're still alive. I know we're all in this far deeper than we'll ever know and trying to disentangle myself from that toxic world of chasing an ever-more elusive dream has been harder than I could ever imagine. But I'm still here.
The memories don't come back. Those hours of humiliation simply don't exist. Thanks for all the encouragement and love - without those comments I'd probably still be cowering here.
And this week... I got a boyfriend. Proof that if you present the most beautifully composed parts of you in a wholesome, cheerful package that you can deceive anyone into believing the lies you repeat everyday into the mirror... 'I am beautiful. I am not crazy. I am loveable. I am not crazy.'
When he holds me, I stop thinking. Finally silence. The Beautiful One, The User, The Long-term Crush just fade away. I have never been happier in my life than in silence in his arms.