Sunday 15 November 2009

if i could never leave my room again, huddle here forever. 6.30 in the morning - still drunk. Everytime I close my eyes, something else comes back.
ITS OK, I'VE HAD SEX WITH MORE GIRLS THAN GUYS, WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. ITS NOT LIKE BEING HOT AND BISEXUAL IS A MASSIVE SECRET.
where the hell are my shoes? why are my clothes everywhere? how did i get into bed? who put me there? and why am I only wearing knickers?
HAHA EVERYONE ALWAYS ASKS ME THIS, I'VE HAD SEX WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE. I'M NOT A SLUT, I JUST LOVE SEX.
this is the academic dream, oh god I've fucked up massively this time. How do i go out there and hold my head up out in public after sexually propositioning most people in the bar last night? these weren't just random people, I have to see them every single day for the next three years.
I'M NOT DRUNK, I JUST CAN'T WALK ANYMORE.
oh god.
screaming, choking, crying in the shower. clawing this repulsive flesh. silencing everything, everyone.

8 comments:

  1. *HUGS*

    You are not a slut!

    The last ditch dirty effort I pull after doing horrible drunken things is to claim I can't remember anything.

    Oh, I had 2 different chicks shove their hands down my top? Damn, wish I could remember that!!
    I was humping ___'s leg? My god I was wasted, LOL.
    Did we go into town or something? Last thing I can remember was that game of King's cup ;)

    Please don't beat yourself up Daisy. You're too awesome to shrivel to a prune in the shower!!

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  2. The emotion in this is.... wow.

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  3. If anyone asks, just tell them you had a few too many drinks to remember propositions. If they laugh, tell them it was the only way you would have offered yourself to them, completely drunk and out of your mind! :) Hugs its ok...

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  4. What you write Daisy, it just gives me so much.
    Thank you.

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  5. you are a fantastic writer and every single one of your posts is bursting with pure emotion. this post has so much grief and raw feeling in it. i love the way you write.

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  6. you are a fantastic writer. everyone one of your posts is dripping with raw emotion that i can feel. this entry is incredible and real.

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  7. emotion.
    I can feel it.
    I hope it's okay.

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  8. I totally relate. I know this exact fucking feeling. Fuck. Fucked another one. Whoops.

    Excuse my language, but it's just one of those things that warrants it for me.

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