Dear God please give me the strength to endure this woman -
I graduated a couple of weeks ago and now at home, an unemployed graduate, stuck in the house with my psychotic mother.
I want to sit and stare at the wall and starve until it's the only thing I feel.
Not this. Not this grey rage towards her and hopelessness. Absolute hopelessness.
I feel you on that one! My mother is a major emotional trigger for me too. Last week she had me crying from 4am to 9am, like my heart was going to light up like a match kind of pain. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of mother's just hate themselves and take it out on their daughters. I'm sorry... hang in there.
Honestly, there are VERY FEW people who have a job handed to them right out of college! It isn't easy finding a job. It is actually really hard! Make sure to do something you love, even if the salary isn't has much as you hoped it would be...you will be happier in the end doing what you love.
ReplyDeleteI've been that girl sitting in that house.
ReplyDeleteWhatever life throws at you, however black it gets, however much it hurts. You must always have hope. Fight.
God doesn't need to give you strength. You have already shown that you have it inside your own heart. xx
Please come back, just to tell us you're okay. Or as okay as it gets.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to read how you're doing these days.
ReplyDeleteI used to follow your blog a few years ago before I recovered.