Monday, 18 January 2010

"I'm good at love. I'm good at hate. It's inbetween I freeze." Leonard Cohen.
How do you tell someone, tenderly, you don't love them? How do you let them go, gently? I know how to finish something brutually. I've been dumped enough times to understand the maximum pain/minimum effort principle, but I'm terrified of hurting the Boyfriend. He's the only person I've ever known who would pick up the phone at 3am and listen to me interrogate him about all his previous girlfriends. It took only one drunken night to destroy my carefully crafted illusion of well-balanced, respectable, even innocent Daisy. There's nothing to say to him. We have nothing in common. I just want someone here, to feel wanted in his arms. But it could have been anybody. Anyone. I want to be loved but I also want to love. And I don't love him and will not. So what is the point? I'm not sure why I bother with relationships. The loneliness is still here. But how do I tell him?


  1. It's hard to do. It's something that will hurt both sides, and theres no getting around the pain. I had to do it once before with a boy I was dating for 2 plus years who absolutely loved me, but, I didn't love back anymore. I'm sorry you have to do go through it ): just say what you feel and make sure he knows the truth.


  2. Gently. Just be honest but do it with as much tact and caring as possible.

  3. im going through the same thing with my current boyfreind C(i love him but am not in love with him) and in the end you just have to be honest with him. make sure to stress that its got nothing to do with him, its just that you dont see him in that romantic way anymore and you can just be really good friends instead.
    stay strong

  4. I agree with sadhana, there isn't a way.

    But i also agree with everyone else, be gentle as possible and tell him the honest truth, and dont give him the impression that it could work maybe someday, just be true to urself and him and thats the best you can do.

  5. I feel like we're in similiar situations. I argued with the Boyfriend yesteray, but I catch myself wondering if I really love him? Of course I do, but do I want him here? Mostly, I just want to be needed and loved and wanted back. But,when it comes to telling him, Im like you: brutal. For him, gentle doesn't sink in