Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Liminal: a. gen. Of or pertaining to the threshold or initial stage of a process. rare. b. spec. in Psychol. Of or pertaining to a ‘limen’ or ‘threshold.’
Thanks for your advice everyone, coming here, ranting, weeping and moaning to you and finding out that people out there have actually heard me saves me a little everyday from crazy Daisy who is beginning to resurface her ugly, deceitful, terrifying head again. I know it's borderline psychotic to see yourself as two seperate people, but it's how am I and as long as I keep out of hospital and away from the doctors, then my dirty little secrets are safely yours.
I needed the Boyfriend but inside I can feel the restless growing, the nervous energy accumulating. Last night I went to a feminist meeting determined to meet androgynous, intellectual lesbians. Is that bad? I'm looking already for the next crazy to submerge myself in. Last time it happened I lost 6 kilos so anything goes. Surrounded by beautiful, skinny girls with the bodies of men I fell in love in my usual, superficial way. Bone lust. The men I fuck hold my bones together, the women I fuck - I guess I just want to inhabit their bones. Exist in their skin for awhile. Strange crossing the lines between the two, falling in love with these mannish women. Motivating myself for the next big starve. Liminal.


  1. hi! i think you write really well!! stay strong as always!

    check out my blog http://aperfectsatisfaction.blogspot.com/


  2. mmm I love liminality.

    I'm interested to see where this goes.

    (ps. I'm also jealous that your room is unpacked and tidy. My suitcase is still out and now everything is gross. Teach me your ways lol!)

  3. I feel the exact same way. I need to fuck men, they hold me togehter, make me feel wanted, loved and all that other bullshit. The women I fuck, it's more of an obbsesion thing.I want to be as near them I as I can, be them. It's bonelust, and it motivates me. So thanks for sharing this Daisy, good to see someone has it the same way. Be well, and saty strong. And keep writing your blog!

  4. omgsh just realized... your name rhymes with crazy... that's cool :)... i mean... it makes nicknaming your strange alter-ego easy and fun...