Tuesday, 31 August 2010

This Too Will Pass

Or nothing lasts forever.
I remembered this, repeated this over and over as I stood in the shower, the freezing water beating against my blistering skin. Waiting, praying, cursing, pleading, weeping, waiting for the antihistamines to work so I could continue to live in my skin. This was my sign. When I was nine, the same thing happened and that was that - no more nuts. But ten years later the unopened kilo bag of almonds lay on the table and without thinking I found myself on the kitchen floor, stuffing fistfuls of nuts into my mouth, my throat already beginning to tighten, my ears burning, my hands burning, numb and still stuffing between my swollen lips.
As I stood in the shower, I could see the weals red and accusing against my skin, I thought of this blog. Never before have so many people cared, commented. And I want to thank every single person who has ever commented on this - your words clung to me as I stood in the shower, resisting the urge to flay my skin off, bringing me back. I took this photograph this afternoon. It kind of reminds of me of all you faceless people who seem so much more real to me than the people I see in front of me.

13 comments:

  1. Daisy darling dear. Your posts never ever fail to make me cry. I love you, know that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was completely beautiful. Poetic, even.
    This is so insightful.. You never expect something this touching to come from an allergy to nuts..

    Kudos, my darling. You're really a great writer.

    I feel the same way about all of you =]

    When did all of this happen?

    ReplyDelete
  3. :( you are so strong honey, you dont need us its US that need you, your posts never cease to make me smile and brighten my day.
    Ouch, nut allergy :/ hope you get better soon

    we love you, dont forget!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. your writing is like a piece of artwork.. simply beautiful :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really like your blog a lot, your posts always have meaning, and they're just so beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  6. <3 I just started following this blog, but you're amazing. Scary about the allergy, I hope everything goes well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. all you faceless people who seem so much more real to me than the people I see in front of me. SO TRUE.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You got me smiling :) I'm glad you're doing better than last time. You're right indeed this two will pass. If you need any support, know that we're here for you. I love your blog, you're an amazing writer so you'll surely have me around.

    Sorry I was so harsh last time.
    Lots of Love

    Apples

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are so strong and amazing and your beautiful words just make me want to cry.! :D
    I'm allergic to nute's too! ):
    LOve.Exxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. That's just nuts! *guffaw*

    I'm sorry but sometimes I read all those ingratiating comments and it makes me nauseated. I want to say something but I can't just join the throng of sycophants telling you "your writing is so beautiful" lalala.

    It's lovely, I'm not trying to offend you, but frankly its been said a thousand times. If you don't believe it now you never will, if you do believe it now you needn't be reminded.

    I hate commenting when there's nothing of substance to say, but I feed off the comments from my own blog. Insubstantial ones not excepted. So I feel compelled to feed others too.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are so real. So genuine. I love your blog! Never stop posting. I look forward to reading it every day.

    ReplyDelete