I had sex with you because I wanted to feel closer. Closer to something, anything, nothing. Me. But for me, anorexia has trapped me here. And i feel so alone and numb and hollow and cold. Like nothing can touch me anymore. Originally, that was what I craved. As I lay there, cold and passive, watching the sky as you moved inside me, I wanted to come back. And you feel nothing for me, just like I feel close to nothing for you, and we have cold, clinical, souless sex and I want to evaporate. Someone asked me why I did it. They didn't get it. The self-harm principle. Destroying your body, slowly, pushing yourself to the point of unbearable pain, and enjoying it.