Revision, revision, revision.... So instead I went and took some photos in the garden... Perhaps my obsession with flowers is slightly sad and kitsch given my name, but to me, there is no nothing more perfect or beautiful than flowers. I could philosophize pretentiously forever on how transiently beautiful they are, even in their decay but even more than that, I find the idea of perfection intoxicating. Everyone I've ever met or read about with an ED seems obsessed with perfection (me included) but has anyone ever attained it? Has anyone out there ever reached their goal weight and achieved happiness? Or are we trapped forever like this, pursuing an ever more elusive image of perfection? Will it always be like this: Starve, binge, purge, starve, binge, purge, in an inevitable cycle of destruction? Tuesday 16 June 2009
Revision, revision, revision.... So instead I went and took some photos in the garden... Perhaps my obsession with flowers is slightly sad and kitsch given my name, but to me, there is no nothing more perfect or beautiful than flowers. I could philosophize pretentiously forever on how transiently beautiful they are, even in their decay but even more than that, I find the idea of perfection intoxicating. Everyone I've ever met or read about with an ED seems obsessed with perfection (me included) but has anyone ever attained it? Has anyone out there ever reached their goal weight and achieved happiness? Or are we trapped forever like this, pursuing an ever more elusive image of perfection? Will it always be like this: Starve, binge, purge, starve, binge, purge, in an inevitable cycle of destruction? 
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it definitely seems that way :'(
ReplyDeletebut maybe one day someone will get lucky and reach their final goals :D
it could be you :DD
The pictures are yours? They're beautiful!
ReplyDeleteYou ask the same questions that I ask every day
x
Anorexia is a lie. It is never enough, when you reach your goal weight there will be yet another goal weight lower than the previous one. Healthy people that lose weight and reach their goals actually enjoy their bodies and weight loss. Anorexia is less about the body and more about the mind-the very disturbed and mentally ill mind. No matter how "perfect" the body becomes, the mind is what is totally screwed up.
ReplyDeleteI saw a PostSecret postcard once, I wish I could show it to you but I can't find it. It had a picture of an emaciated girl and it said something like "I think I'm perfect, but others cry when others hug me"...she found perfection...I wonder what happened to her.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog, hun
xo